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Archive for February, 2013

I am so ashamed of my lack of writing lately- and when I say lately, I mean, over the past few months. MONTHS! This is by far the longest I have gone without penning, or typing something. No poetry, no prose, no additional chapters to my novel, no blogs, no substantial writing of any kind. Nada. The guilt is overwhelming. Writing is my first love and I feel like I am forsaking a little piece of myself every time I close my laptop without putting some thoughts on the digital paper.

My life, since October, has been a whirwind of change. I don’t like change, by the way. I was very comfortable with my routine and schedule. In October, though, I became a working mom. Not just any job, a night job. Graveyard shift. For a long time I wondered if I could do it. Could I maintain my higher-than-normal expectations of all things domestic and parent related? How in Sam Hill was I going to be able to balance my work life, get to the school three times a day, keep the household up and running, care for the pets, run errands, and still find time to sleep? It’s been more than four months now and I’m not really certain how I pull it all together. I just do. I’m not saying it’s been easy, or that my house is spotless by 10am like it once was, but things are falling into place quite nicely.

I am fairly well adjusted to the new schedule and while finding time to sleep is still a little tricky, I’m not fighting my urges to nap anymore. It took a long time to reconcile the fact I HAVE to sleep during the day and that I wasn’t being lazy. Naps are no longer considered a waste of time, they are a necessity. I’m finally okay with that.

On the topic of change, some other things have changed for our family since I went to work. Namely, our financial situation. It’s a good change, but it hasn’t changed us or the way we run things around here. I am still frugal to a fault and prefer to live with simple pleasures. Hippie Husband makes enough to cover our bills, my pay covers the new car we purchased just weeks before taking the job with enough left over that compared to our previous situation I feel like Ivanka Trump! Comparatively.

I’m sure I have said it before, but we live completely debt free. No credit cards or personal loans. We don’t rent-to-own anything, despite the temptation. If we can’t pay for something, we don’t buy it. Simple as that. We have learned to feel blessed and thankful for all the little things and be pleased with what we do have, rather than get caught up in consumerism and the need to have more and better.

Our extra income is something that has afforded us the pleasure of comfort. It has taken away so much anxiety and worry. We spent so many years not knowing how bills would be paid or how we would afford the next meal. And we haven’t forgotten how that feels. Those struggles have groomed us into adults that make good money decisions.

In spite of all my sleeplessness and walking this tightrope of work and family, it’s all working out. My time with my family is even more precious now that I lose evenings to naps and work. I still consider myself  a stay at home mom, I just work when they sleep now. I’ve learned that change is part of living and growing. Struggle can and will be rewarding. I’m grateful to those who have supported and encouraged me through this adjustment. I’m still guilty from time to time about my lack of motivation to write, but it will come; it always does. I’m still the simple, crunchy hippie I always was, just a little busier- but I don’t think I would change this for the world.

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” Alan watts

 

Lauryn

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